Mermaids: Bipolar much

One is love, One is hate. Click on pictures to see which is which.

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Cutting off my hair: possible rebirth

Robin-Tunney-Baldtumblr_mewjf0hzuC1rjhowho1_500rushhour310

I’ve been thinking about cutting my hair (locs) off for a minute now.

Now I can’t tell if this is an impulsive reaction to what I’m subconsciously feeling- I’m depressed, insecure, want something new, don’t want to be tied down or judged, or what.

I have no idea.

All I know is that that’s all I’ve been thinking about lately.

I think maybe this urge stems from me feeling trapped. Trapped in a stereotype, in the expected, in a loc, other ppls’ desire.

All of my life, I have felt like I lived in a box as a punishment because of the way that I naturally act, my natural self, considered wrong or too odd for society and their expectations.

For majority of my life, I sought freedom especially in my creative expressions (I’m an artist btw), but felt like I never even breathed free air. I feel so controlled.

My life is heavily depended on by others because they see potential in me to make a difference, sometimes, if I just adjust my talents to their way. But that doesn’t make me happy, this makes me stagnant and when others try to help you, many don’t realize they actually hold you back more.

I always feel like I’m not allowed to express myself and I’m uncertain as why.

I think of cutting my hair probably because I feel it’s my only way out of things that effect me the most- whether or not I’m pretty, judgments, misunderstandings, expectations, and this labeled box which I may have even put myself in.

But I’m on this journey to figure it all out. So a few weeks later, I may have no hair-we shall see.

“After the Disco”

The band, Broken Bells, recently done a short film project for their new music. I love it.

Makes me feel like a mermaid alien swimming through space and a moon that looks like a bright pluto is my best friend. (I know that’s extremely weird).

It is pure retro futurism.

Also, I love their mixture of disco, some krautrock, pop, soul, and some funk in their new music. Check them out. ENJOY!

 

“Memories, make me feel fine”

“Talk to me ooooo, talk to me…”

I was so little when I first heard these songs. I will never forget.

They killed these songs in the arcades.

I heard these songs playing laser tag.

I heard these songs playing dance dance revolution.

Made me feel like I was racing time to have much fun as possible.

Just a few (If there is no video, click picture to watch):

ATC- “All Around the World (lalalalalalala)”

Click to Watch

Eiffel 65- “Blue (Da Ba Dee)”

Eiffel 65- Blue (Da Ba Dee)

Vengaboys- “boom, boom, boom”

venga

Aqua- “Barbie Girl”

barbie

those that time has covered in a sweet haze

I wrote a rap today: it’s for boring guys who say I’m fickle

Is it my fickleness or is it that your boring?
Don’t be mad at me if you catch me snoring.
Im trying to live life to the fullest,
but when I’m with you it is the dullest.
you tedious dork, life is short
i thought
that you knew it
the best you can do is talk me to sleep
Mr. benedryl
Here’s the deal
only be there when I need some sleep
I’m seeking something new
but you don’t gotta clue
because your my pleasantville
50s dad
I thought you had
90s swag
Now I have
jetlag
from chilling with you.